Good Bye 2010- Hello 2011!

I started this blog at the beginning of 2010, and seeing it's now the last day of 2010- I am very impressed that I managed to keep one blog going for the whole year. Look back at my first post- New Year, New Blog!, lets see how I did on my resolutions:

Now, I didn't blog every day like I wanted too, but I did put a fair amount of words on this blog. Thank you to all of my readers for sticking with me! Thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to read my ramblings.

One of my other resolutions was to quit procrastinating. I have gotten better, but I still procrastinate! Who doesn't, I guess? Sometimes things just come up and get in the way of getting done what I had planned.

Weight loss- Hmmm. Let's just not go there. I guess I've come to terms that I am what size I am, I have the body I have, I've had 4 kids, some things just aren't going to be the same as they were. I have done better with exercising and eating better, which will take care of the extra few pounds I'd like to loose. Since we have cut out a lot of eating out, we all feel healthier.

Eating Healthy- we've cut out eating 90% of the fast food that we used to eat. That's a huge step right there! I've also been cooking a lot more foods from scratch. I've tried lots of new recipes and learned to make a lot of boxed stuff on my own.

Take better care of myself- I could probably use some more improvement in this area, but overall I've done better then in past years. Biggest thing- recognizing when I am overwhelmed and taking the time to rest and have some time to myself.

Teach my kids x,y and z- We have those letters down! They've learned a lot this year and all have made tons and tons of progress. They surprise me daily with the things they know.


So for 2011, I'd like to work on the following things:

1) Budgeting. I want to crank down our budget and know exactly where we are spending every dollar. I want to work harder on curbing the "It's-only-a-dollar" syndrome. I want to work harder at putting money into savings. If my new job is CEO of my family, I need to treat it as a "business" and make sure our financials are in order.

2) Homeownership.  We talk about buying a home quite often, and it's now time to quit talking and start doing! I plan on taking a first time homeowners class, finding out what's available to first time homeowners, and finding out what we could afford. Even if we don't end up buying this year, I want to know where we stand in buying, or what we need to work on in order to buy.

3) Character Traits. I want to work harder on character traits both with the kids, and with myself. We could all use improvement in all of these areas! We have the traits listed here on the wall, and I want to start taking one a week and working on them with the kids.

4) Date Nights. To keep date night with my hubby, date night with myself, and date night with my friends. Hubby gets his weekly, and I'd like to make one for myself a month, and one every other with my friends- with no kids along! We all need some time to cut our own food, and talk without someone crying or whining over us.

5) Blogging and Books. I want to blog more and possibly move my blog to its own domain name. I also want to work at reading at least one new book a month, and preferably one new book a week.

2010 was an exciting year with lots of changes. I am excited to see what 2011 will bring!

Whew!!!!!!

Christmas has come and gone around here. The tree is out by the curb, waiting to be turned into mulch. Most of the decorations have been taken down and packed neatly into their boxes. My living room hasn't faired so well. There is still bits of wrapping paper, pine needles, and toys aplenty from one wall to the other. 

We had a fun Christmas! We started Christmas week off with a visit to our favorite guy in the red suit. In the pouring rain. Not California rain- God left the shower running full blast! So we stayed home mostly, off the roads and away from the craziness. 

On Christmas Eve we went to hear the Christmas story at a friend's church. I do believe we have started a new tradition in this. It was short, sweet and to the point!

Then came the most awaited day of the year (at least for my kids)- Christmas! 

Then much unwrapping was had. You don't realize how many presents you really have when each kid gets 8-9 gifts, times 4 equals...a lot. After holding everyone down for a few seconds, it's the great unwrapping rush.

Princess wanted one thing, and one thing only. Santa obliged. 

My plans for this Christmas were to buy lots and lots of outdoor toys. I wanted them to get out in the backyard more and play. I think my mission was accomplished!

I also got to see my niece on her first Christmas! She is just the cutest little baby ever! Even more perfect, I can hold her, cuddle her, and hand her back to Mom & Dad. It was great to see my brother with his own family, he is so happy. 

Princess was enjoying lots of time with her favorite Aunt. At one point she was using her Aunt and Uncle has pillows to lay on. 

A few other Christmas surprises later, a yummy dinner, and some badminton, it was time to go to bed. Everyone was tired, but it was a day we will all remember and look back on for many years to come. I love spending time with all of my family. 

Happy Birthday to you!

We celebrated Genius's 10th birthday this week. It's hard to imagine that this tiny little baby:

Is 10 whole years old. 10 years that have flown by. 10 years of learning to parent, 10 years of putting up with siblings, 10 years of milestones, 10 years of learning. I can still remember walking the neighborhood with my mom, trying to get contractions to stay steady, driving over the bumpiest road possible to the hospital, calling everyone to tell them it's time to go to the hospital, and the long wait for his arrival. And the hour of being stitched up after having him! Then the joy turning to worry when I changed his diaper and he had poop and blood in it, that resulted in a 10 day NICU stay. I remember crying on the way home because I was going and my baby was staying- that wasn't the way it was supposed to go. Then taking him home after the NICU, the nurse walking me to the car, me buckling him in, then turning around and finding I was alone, in the parking lot, with my son.

I still to this day, can't believe they let me take him home!

Now he's a video game playing, video game making (in 3-d, no less), reads faster then I do, loves good books, smart, funny person. Person being the key word- he is his own individual with his own personality. He's starting to be a teenager, despising having photos taken, muttering about things, and having a bit of a tempter. But most of the time he is a great big brother, and a great kid. I can't wait to see what the next 10 years will bring.

I'm an Aunt!!!!! (and lots of other random stuff)

My niece was born on the 14th! I'm so glad she finally made her appearance, as we were all anxious to meet her. It's nice to have another member to the family. It seemed like we were shrinking as a family, and not growing. I'm excited to watch my brother and his girlfriend grow as parents. I'm excited for the joy little Marlee will bring them. I'm just all over happy and excited for them!

Marlee also has her middle name after my grandma who passed away a few years ago. It's so touching. I'm so proud (if you haven't figured that out yet).

Christmas is fast approaching and I still have quite a bit of Christmas shopping to do. If the kids were in school, I'd do my shopping and wrapping while they are away. But they aren't, so this Friday and next Friday I will probably do most of my shopping and wrapping. Yes, Procrastinating much, I am. At least the house is done being decorated, and the Awana party is done. That's two major things no longer on my plate!

I look on the calendar and we don't have things planned, but we have so much to do! Two more days of schooling, a visit to Marlee, dropping off socks at a friends house, maybe picking up the van from the shop, taping a friend's Christmas Choir performance at their Church, Genius's 10th birthday, cookie decorating with a large group of friends, then a few days to relax before Christmas! Hopefully the van is fixed and we can pick it up so we can drive and go see some Christmas lights.

So today is schoolwork, laundry, and cleaning up the huge mess I made yesterday in making gingersnaps and peppermint bark. Princess threw up all over her blankets and didn't say anything until last night when we went to tuck her in, so that's top on the list- cleaning blankets and Lysol her room (again). I know it's been awhile since Doorbuster got sick, but I am paranoid now that it's flu season. I carry a full size bottle of hand sanitizer in my diaper bag, sticking out for easy access.

And I'm stuck at 84 on Warcraft, just a few bars from 85. Thanks, Blizzard, for putting a new expansion out right before the holidays when I have tons and tons of stuff to do. I could of waited until January. I still would of faithfully paid my subscription and finished the rep I was working on...but no. My hopes of being one of the first raid-worthy people went down the tubes. Oh well. I guess I'm just getting more bang for my buck by stretching out my questing!

Now off to get my kitchen robots humming away, and the dryer tumbling. It's actually rainy and cold, so out went the leaf raking I was planning on having the kids do. I suppose we will settle on their favorite game, whine and bother. Maybe I can get them to color some when their work is done.

It's begining to look a lot like Christmas!

We've been busy decorating for Christmas lately. We've bought our tree from the traditional Home Depot parking lot, decorated it full of ornaments that are equally full of memories, and have been sneaking bits of Christmas wherever we can find room. We don't spend a lot of money on decorations (aside from the ornaments), because we moved often and didn't want a lot of stuff to haul around. This year, we've found a lot of cute stuff at....the 99 cent store!

We love Disneyland and we love (Ok, it's probably more of a I love) It's a Small World Holiday. Small World Holiday is mainly decorated in white, silver and iridescent colors. I try to keep that theme when I buy things, but sometimes you have to make do with what you can find. So little by little I work at my theme.

Veggie-Tales Christmas sets the mood here.

If you followed the 4 Moms, 35 kids link-up, you'll notice we've re-arranged a bit. It was a pain to see the TV! This set up works much better. We also moved a bigger rug in here.

Back of the living room wall, new-to-us hutch and the only snowflakes you'll see around here.

Kitchen- with a new-to-us bigger table!

We've never had two trees before, but the people who lived here before us left a fake tree in the garage. We finally pulled it out and it was in good shape. So it is gracing the kitchen, since it does no justice to the garage. This tree I filled with non-breakable ornaments (which I even tested by tossing them around a bit), and the kids can rearrange and redecorate to their liking. They know that the real tree in the living room is not to be touched.

You know you have toddlers when the tree is decorated from the middle up.

Merry Christmas!

WOW!!!! OMG!

I popped on over to read a few of my favorite blogs while I nursed the baby (well, my sort-of toddler) to sleep, and I found out I won!!! Kim at Life in Shoe had a giveaway for a $50 gift card to Marie Madeline Studio! I always drool over there stuff but have never ordered. Surprise Surprise now I can!

I'm so excited! I've entered so many blog-contests and never won anything, to win is really fun.  Now I am going to relish deciding what to pick.

Thanks Kim and Marie Madeline Studios!

Few of my Favorite Things!

I love Christmas music! I like hearing it and I like singing to it. I like everything from traditional carols to more contemporary type music. If you came to my house during the month of December, chances are I am playing Christmas music and singing along to it.

Here's one of my favorites-

Stepparenting & the Evil, Evil Stepmother

Step-parenting is a hard. It doesn't matter if its part-time or full-time, being a step-mom is the hardest parenting job ever. Even harder then being a step-dad. As moms, and even more, as being female, we are expected to parent our children AND our spouses children. We expect it of ourselves. Dads can pretty much get away with being clueless about their kids and hardly anyone expects them to actually discipline and raise their kids. We mother any child that comes across our way, that's just the way we are rasied/taught/genetically made (take your pick).

When I talk to other step-moms, I always notice a few common things:

1) The newer stepparents are always convinced their step-child (mostly female teenage ones) hate them, and they spend all their time, money and energy trying to win them over, and it does nothing but fusterate them.

2) They try to parent their step-kids the same as they parent their biological kids- Mom handles everything, Dad does nothing (or the fun stuff).

3) Step-mom oversteps her boundaries and inserts herself over the Dad's authority and starts taking over schooling, health care, and worse, visitation & custody matters.


At after doing the above things, they end up on the internet, looking for other step-moms, magical solutions, forums, some sort of help to make everything all better. I know, I was one of those moms! There always had to be something magical out there that could solve all our problems. That was the problem. *I* was the one causing all these problems. Most everything that I was having problems with could easily be solved by doing one thing- letting my husband, handle it.

I know it's hard to let go of control in your own house. It was really, really (and still is really) difficult to do. On a daily basis I have the urge to run in, Mommy-cape flying, and do everything "better" then he could. And "better" then her mom could. But the easiest way to end most struggles was to simply let my husband handle it, and to not be involved. By stepping out of the picture, it let the two people most important to her work out issues without a third (or fourth) party stepping in.

That being said, this is our house, with other children here. I can't completely stay out of things because I do have other children to protect, normalcy to keep maintained, and holidays to plan and organize. But 99.9% of the time, I just stay out of it. I call my friends, I rant and rave in private, and I put on my game face.

There are a few rules that I follow. When I first heard of them, I thought they would never work for me, they didn't apply in my situation, etc. Then when I started to follow them, I realized how well they worked. I'm not sure who wrote these rules, I believe they are found in a book titled Stepfamilies. I found this set searching around, they are the same set in the book.

"STEPMOM BILL OF RIGHTS

1. I will be part of the decision-making process in my marriage and family at all times.

2. People outside the immediate family - including ex-wives, in-laws and adult children - cannot make plans that affect my life without my consent.

3. I will not be responsible for the welfare of children for whom I can set no limits.

4. I must be consulted about which children will live with us, when they can visit and how long they will stay.

5. I will not be solely responsible for housework; chores will be distributed fairly.

6. I will be consulted regarding all family financial matters.

7. Others may not violate my private space at home, nor take or use my possessions without my permission.

8. I will never be treated as an "outsider" in my own home. 9. My husband and stepchildren must treat me with respect.

10. Our marriage is our first priority, and we will address all issues together. "

Take #3- There was a period of time when my stepdaughter did everything in her power to disobey- she didn't do her schoolwork, didn't pick up after herself, threw temper tantrums on the floor, etc. I couldn't go to the grocery store without some sort of argument, hysterics, and drama. So instead of parenting harder and making things worse, I quit and left it up to my husband to handle. He had to handle the homework, he had to arrange childcare afterschool, he had to oversee everything that I was taking care of before. It's amazing how quickly things matter when he was the one dealing with it. It quickly got under control after that.

On #4- You as a step-parent of any kind, should never, ever tell your spouse their child can not visit. That is incredibly wrong in so many ways. You should always be told when they are coming and when they are going and if those plans change. You should be able to work out a schedule if there is a conflict. If you feel your stepchild is a harm to your other children, this gives you the opportunity to go visit friends during the visit, to make a trip to visit relatives, whatever you feel is necessary. Be the bigger person and stay out of the way if it makes things better for the child and their bio-parent.

The ultimate suggestion I have for any step-parent is to find other step-parents to lean on. Have a support system of other step-families. What works for one family might not work for yours. You are the authority on your own family. Parenting in a step-family is different then in a normal family.

SAHMs & Appreciation

Last night's Desperate Housewives (Pleasant Little Kingdom), sure hit on a interesting and very truthful note.

Tom is mad that Lynette doesn't praise him for being manly- everyone is looking for someone to take care of a problem, and they mention every man in the room buy Tom. This upsets Tom and makes him feel like Lynette doesn't appreciate him, or feel like he can take care of things. From the recap on ABC.com: "Well, it’s probably because everyone else does it for her. Lynette says, “For almost 20 years, all I’ve heard is how incredibly lucky I am to have a guy like you. So, if I don’t constantly brag about how great you are, it’s only because I don’t want to be reminded of how much I don’t deserve you.” Tom assures her that he’s actually the lucky one."

At this point in the show, Lynette is a stay at home mom. or a work at home mom, if she is still doing the interior design business with Renee. She brings up how people in the neighborhood talk badly about her being glad to leave her babies and run back to work. This hits home with both working and stay at home moms.

If you leave the house to work, you're abandoning your family. If you don't work, you're either mooching off your husband eating bon-bons all day, or wasting your skills since you aren't receiving a paycheck from them. I've seen and heard it many times- if you didn't go to college and stay at home with your kids, that's seen as ok- like you weren't going to amount to anything anyways. But if you went to college, if you stay at home you are wasting your talents and education if you do choose to stay at home. Why is it considered a waste on your own family- the people who mean the most to you in the world?

People generally don't praise stay at home moms. Our husbands are wonderful since they work so hard so we can stay home doing what we love. They deserve that appreciation. Without them, we couldn't do what we love. But sometimes its nice to feel valued for your contribution too- for raising great kids, for keeping a warm home, for clean socks in the morning, whatever. Yes, my husband can wash his own socks, hang his own clothes, cook his own dinner. But I do it so he can come home and relax and enjoy his kids, his wife, and his home. He can come and go to work or out with friends without worrying about daycare pickups or babysitters. It's my joy, "our" joy, to give that. Stay at home moms deserve some appreciation too- from husbands, from neighbors, from society.

It would just be nice, on the rare occasion, for society to realize that our contribution is just as great, even if we don't get paid to do it.

Christmas through the years

We have a family tradition of taking pictures with Santa. It's what my mom likes best for Christmas. Santa has been a ongoing member of our December family. Here's a few pictures. My husband has been working on scanning all of our pictures and saving them onto disk & flash so we have back ups of everything. 

I was not a fan!

Me & My brothers

My middle school years

2003, with our close family friend included!

2009

Now to more scanning!